Coaching for Self Esteem - Seeing Perfection vs Fixing People

The whole class was astonished.

We were all coaches and healers. We'd spent most of our lives in improving ourselves and others. Yet what we saw shook the very foundations of everything we believed.

Our teacher asked for a volunteer to come up front for yet another demonstration. We were about to see something that would make our heads spin.

You might have heard of muscle testing. It's a technique to find out if something is good for us or bad for us. Chiropractors and other health practitioners use it all the time.

She tested the volunteer for a baseline. In other words, you have to start by making sure the testing works correctly.

Then came the earthquake. Our teacher asked everyone to send healing energy to the volunteer. Then she muscle tested again.

You're not going to believe this. The person tested weak!

The volunteer weakened when we sent healing energy to her!

We were about to get the next earthquake to complete the collapse of what we thought we knew.

The seminar leader asked everyone to see the person as already perfect in that moment. Guess what.

The volunteer tested strong!

She became weaker when we saw her as needing healing energy. She became stronger when we saw her as already perfect!

Whoa. What have I been doing all my life? What have we been taught?

Our intentions were good, but ...

Perfection happens where someone sees themselves or someone else as perfect and does something, or nothing, for the benefit of the other person. The word intention may not even apply. We see the person as already perfect. There is no intention to change anything.

Black magic is where someone has an intention to damage another.

Misguided Intention

What the heck is misguided intention?

Misguided intention is where we see a person or situation as screwed up and we try to fix them. This is gray magic.

Does that shake things up for you? It sure shook me up.

What have I been doing all my life? What have I been taught?

Sure, you can see things as messed up and fix them. For example, you can see a house as dirty. You can then clean it up. And yes, then it's clean.

Does it stay clean? There is a never-ending activity of cleaning the house as it keeps getting dirty. Does that mean that, if you always see the house as clean, it will always be clean? You still go through the motions of cleaning.

But we want to raise self esteem. And I can tell you that if we always see ourselves in our perfection, that we'll dissolve anything that limits our self esteem.

This is good stuff!

Humility is fine. But that doesn't mean that we tear ourselves down.

True humility is seeing perfection in others.

Smiles

Have you seen the Jack Nicholson smile? That smile tells me that Jack is really cool.

How about the Tom Cruise smile? It tells me that we're both really cool. Does that smile help others to be really cool?

What does all this mean?

We had our foundations shaken. Are we going to go around with the belief that we're screwed up? Are we going to keep fixing ourselves?

Is there a better way?

Glad you asked! We can practice seeing ourselves and others as already perfect.

This approach goes way beyond fixing your self esteem. There is nothing to fix. All you have to do is see your own perfection.

Would you like to help other people? See them as already perfect.

Copyright 2006 by Jim Kitzmiller

Jim Kitzmiller is the author of Rocket Fuel for the Soul -- Blissercise Self-Help Manual. The book's bliss exercises (blissercises) surpass usual positive thinking approaches by bypassing the logical mind. The blissercises cover 46 different areas of life.

Jim leads self-help workshops and does spiritual coaching.

Tuscan Architecture

Tuscan architecture combines modern and classic elements that make up pure Old World Europe. The beauty of architecture Tuscan style comes from the typical custom crafted natural stone. This includes limestone, travertine and marble. Terracotta floor and roof tiles are often used to give the antique feel. In Tuscan architecture, wooden beams are often refurbished from Tuscan farmhouses.

Tuscany architecture involves fine Italian building materials that create beautiful marble fireplaces, wrought iron gates and amazing fountains.

Integrating Tuscan elements brings a sense of Old-World charm and mystique to indoor and outdoor aspects of your home.

Exterior architecture typically include:

Tile roof Wrought iron front door entrance Walls covered with vines Crumbling stone walls that outline patios and walkways Beautiful travertine cobblestone driveways Brick or stone set garden paving Tuscan Landscape : Lavender, rosemary and sage can be found surrounding a Tuscan style home. Old lemon pots and antique jars give the feel of a Tuscany garden .

Interior architecture typically include:

Walls: Plaster walls with hand painted wall treatments. Usage of warm colors that represent the rolling hills of Tuscany bring the feel of basking under the Tuscan sun! Mediterranean decor involves subtle earth tones. These are standard in French Country decorating.

Ceilings: Textured richly. Stenciled borders can be found along the ceilings. Paneled or vaulted ceilings are a typical choice in decor as it creates pure Tuscany architectural framework. Wooden or chestnut beams provide a rustic feel to the Old World style home.

Floor: Glass, stone and tile are often used to create amazing mosaic art for flooring, which works well with table tops. Terracotta tiles, marble and ceramic flooring marks true Tuscany home decor . Selection of marbles that blend nicely with your Tuscan color palette.

Tuscany architecture uses pale travertine in home flooring. Marble Chips, stucco and crushed stone are polished nicely creating terrazo floors.

Your home can be so beautiful when choosing architecture Tuscan style!

Patrice D. Walker is an Architect student who specializes in Tuscan Decorating. Visit: http://www.Tuscan-Home-101.com/tuscan_decor.html for more Tuscan interior design tips and information.

The Religion of Bio-Psychiatry

If we examine the term 'psychotherapy' we will see that it literally means the 'healing of the soul'. Much of emotional distress is actually a spiritual problem, where an individual has lost meaning and hope. In today's society, we have lost sight of spiritual values and many have in turn decided to turn to the religion of bio-psychiatry.

Bio-psychiatry has a creed, the creed is that all problems of life are the result of so-called chemical imbalances. Any professional or individual challenging such conception is branded a heretic and subject to sanction.

The psychiatrist is the priest, and in some cases is also looked upon as a messianic figure. As the priest, the psychiatrist defines the Social Law and the infractions thereof.

The religion of bio-psychiatry has its 'sacraments.' The sacrament of initiation occurs at intake, and confirmation occurs when the individual is indoctrinated into the credo of bio-psychiatry and led to believe that their problems lie in 'wiring' problems in their brains.

The religion of psychiatry has absolution. Through their ritual, adults and institutions are able to be completely absolved from taking any responsibility for meeting the real emotional needs of a person or examining how their own actions and choices could have impacted the challenges faced by the individual.

Ordination occurs at the conferring of the Medical Degree and the completion of a residency in psychiatry.

The religion of bio-psychiatry has the 'sacrament' of Matrimony. Bio-Psychiatry is wedded to the pharmaceutical industry, and what a generous dowry the pharmaceutical industry has provided!

The American Psychiatric Association serves as the "Ecumenical Council" to promulgate the creed of bio-psychiatry and to institute the definitions of the Social Law and the infractions thereof.

The Bible of bio-psychiatry is the DSM-IV.

The Deity is the enormous ego of the bio-psychiatrists themselves.

by Dan L. Edmunds, Ed.D.

A Road Full Of Boulders

Personal Development, Self Improvement & Self Help, Are You Living in Integrity With Your Goals?

So... you have set the goal and started the process of achieving what you want. You work towards the goal, think about the goal and are really excited. Then something happens. You loose steam, you get busy and the excitement that you had while you were working towards your goal fades and another project gets stuck back up on the shelf. Waiting for completion and just outside of your grasp.

These projects and goals that you shove to the side have an impact on your mind. They are promises that you made to yourself that you have broken. Inside there is an overdrawn debit account for every project that you did not complete. The internal stress from this debit account wears on you if you cannot put it back into alignment.

Getting Back Into Integrity

One of the ways that you start to live in integrity with your goals is to figure out what you really want in life. Many times you start a goal and never finish it because its something that you don't really want. Maybe some of the goals you have been setting have been for other people and not you. You will never make real progress until you have clearly defined goals that you actually want. Think about each of the projects that you have tabled or not completed and evaluate whether you want that for yourself or whether you were just going through the motions for another person.

Once you have that done list out the five main areas of your life: wealth, health, family relationships, love relationships and your form of spirituality. Write down what you want in each area of your life and be specific.

Do A Daily Check-Up

Each morning when you wake-up read your goals. Plan out what you will do each day based on the five categories of your life. Make sure that you devote at least five minutes every day to each of the five areas. At the end of the day go back over your list and ask yourself if you lived true to your goals during the day.

Living in integrity with your goals means that you take steps each day to move towards them. You align yourself in terms of your habits and your thoughts so that you are helping move yourself closer to your goals. If you merely sit around and dream without taking action you are out of integrity.

When you change your habits, actions and thoughts, your whole life will change. Set aside a few minutes each day to work on your goals. Click on http://www.GlobalSuccessILG.com to learn about how to increase your income and create wealth in your life. This site covers topics from leadership, to tax strategies, to growing your business and many more. Ray Stendall is President of Wealth Expressions, Inc. and regularly coaches individuals and businesses on how to achieve their goals and objectives.

Game Of Life And How To Play

A One Minute Meditation

Maybe learning to meditate intimidates you, and in any case it's tough to find the time for daily meditation. The solution to both problems is an easy meditation you can learn right now, that will only take a minute to do each day.

An Easy Meditation Technique

Breathing through your mouth expands your chest, but if you breath through your nose you'll notice how your abdomen extends. You see, nose-breathing causes the diaphram to pull air to the bottom of your lungs. This delivers a good dose of oxygen into your bloodstream and brain. It also tends to relax you.

Breathing through your nose is healthier, and it's the basis of this one-minute meditation. You simply close your eyes, let the tension go out of your muscles, let go of your thoughts (to the extent possible), and take four slow, deep breaths through your nose, paying attention to your breathing.

Is Meditation This Easy?

You're not likey to get you into a deep meditative state with this simple exercise. You will get benefits, though. These will almost certainly include a clearer mind and a reduction in stress.

Try to develop a "trigger" for your meditation. You can do your four breaths when you get into the car, for example, or right after lunch each day. A trigger is a place or time that reminds you, so your meditation becomes a habit.

Some may say this isn't "real" meditation, but there's nothing wrong with enjoying the relaxation you'll get from this technique. You can always pursue deeper meditation later, if you wish. In the meantime, remember that not everything has to be difficult to be of value. Why not do an easy one-minute meditation right now?

Steve Gillman writes on many self help topics including boosting brainpower, losing weight, meditation, habits of mind, creative problem solving, learning gratitude, generating luck and anything related to self improvement. You'll find more at http://www.SelfImprovementNow.com

The Trap of the Common Sense

Many people are not satisfied with their lives and want to achieve more. However, only few actually make their dreams come true. Why does this happen?

It seems to be logical that if you are not satisfied with life you are negative about your current situation; you have negative thoughts and constantly complain. For many people it is also logical to blame others for things that didn't work out in their lives. This kind of logic actually keeps people where they are today.

Many things that seem to be a "common sense" and "intuitive" in reality just ways everybody does things. It is our collective thinking that makes them common sense and intuitive. If you look at lives that people live you will see how these "common sense" habits, perceptions and beliefs make their lives miserable. They keep people at their current jobs, stiff all their creativity, promote fear of taking risks, keep them glued to their comfort zones. This results in deep inner dissatisfaction and is a direct way to depressions and different self-destroying addictions.

"Think outside the box" is not just a common self-improvement textbook phrase. It has a deep meaning of questioning all the "common sense" things in order to see the way out which is usually just in front of you. You can't see it because it is not part of your belief system, it doesn't go along with how you perceive the world.

Let's go back to a "negative" situation you find yourself in. The non-intuitive and only way out of it is to be positive. Do you want to have good things in life? Be positive about what you already have, be deeply grateful for every single thing, no matter how little, that you have in your life right now. Do you want to have more control over your life? Never blame anybody for anything that happened to YOU. Take full responsibility for attracting people and events into your life. How you can attract anything good if you are always negative?

It seems to be hard to be positive and grateful when everything is wrong however it is just a matter of forcing yourself to repeat positive phrases in your head even if you don't agree with them or they don't sound to be true. With time you will start actually feeling the truth in your statements.

As your perception of the world changes, slowly the physical world around you will change to reflect better who you are.

Do you need help to make your dreams come true? Visit http://www.pathstopower.net for a free book and more details.

Are you interested in natural health, weight loss, energy secrets? Visit http://www.nutrifitpower.com/ezine.html for free reports and more details.

Lynn Alex is a Life-Skills Coach, Yoga Teacher and an American Board Certified Holistic Health Practitioner.

How a Blind Artist Teaches Others to Practice a New Philosophy

When I first met Keith Salmon I was struck by his gentleness and simplicity. As I got to know him more I became inspired by his inner strength and his continuing desire to create and work towards conquering new goals.

Keith became blind through diabetes - however, he did not let that stop him following the career that he had chosen, learned and practiced as a youth - of becoming an artist. Through his path of self-development he has never let his deteriorating sight stop him from realizing his dream of creating art, and today he shares how he dealt with his condition with others and teaches them to overcome their difficulties and to keep working towards their dreams.

Frequently he will talk to groups of people who were once sighted and who have lost their vision as he did, teaching them to move forward and not give up on their goals. Illustrating to them how best to maintain their motivation and telling his story of how he conquered his drastic loss of vision and using the 10% of sight that he still has in one eye to its best advantage in the creation of new method and depth in his artworks and which has allowed his art to advance dramatically over the last decade. All this has been largely due to his acceptance and positive reaction to his forced change of perspective on life.

Rather than accept some kind of defeated attitude from the cards this life have dealt him, Keith Salmon`s work shines by his actual physical and mental example of how not to take the world sitting down and by leading from the front. By sharing his philosophy with others he has inspired many people who might otherwise have felt defeated to rise up and lead their life from the front.

Keith is not only an accomplished and respected artist, living and working in Scotland, but is also someone who has continued to combine his childhood pleasure of hill walking with his work as an artist. Consequently his contemporary landscape art of the Scottish mountains is perhaps one of awe-inspiring intimacy. For not only does Keith represent the landscapes that he paints but given that he has lived them for the best part of the last fifty years and has experienced them as many of us may not, and is able to transfer those feelings and that adventure that he still feels when walking in the hills today, led by friends, onto bare canvas and board is a testament to his strong desire to share what he loves with the world.

John McMenemy is a respected art dealer and artist promoter who works with artists internationally, promoting their works and arranging for it to be exhibited. If you would like your art promoted you may contact him directly via the author link to his web page.